Life, Hope and Onion Rings

Life isn’t perfect.

Life is hard, harsh and harrowing.

Life is messy.

Life hurts.

But that’s how it works.

There isn’t a person among us that hasn’t gone through a hard time and although I doubt Bill Gates and I have similar hardships now a days, I’m sure he remembers what it was like living at his moms house and working out of a garage the same way I remember my apartment burning down when I was 3ish. (Are they the same? No, but I mean how many apartments has he been thrown out the window of? HUH?!)

All of us start out with the same hope, that hope is tarnished and beaten down over the years depending on the hardships we have to endure. And I know it isn’t always easy to keep that hope from being fully crushed by the weight of life and you have no choice but to go at it alone.

Yeah, alone.

In the end that’s all we have. Our friends and loved ones can only encourage us so much, they want to believe they’ll always be there, but they wont- They can’t. It’s just not something that’s possible. So for those times we have to do for ourselves what they can no longer do.

I’m not saying “You have to love yourself before you can love somebody” because that’s nonsense. What I’m saying is that hope is finite and the only person who can hold on to it is you.

The biggest problem here is I’ve got no advice as to how to do that, I can only tell you what I’ve done and it’s honestly not much. I’ve always been fairly pessimistic, even as a child I was a negative nelly, a debbie downer, a wet blanket, etc. It wasn’t always fun being the one kid who tells the other kids what ring around the rosie is about. (But hey they’re gonna find out eventually right?) And to be perfectly honest I really haven’t changed all that much. What has allowed me some growth is repeating to myself daily “Other peoples lives are not my life, what they do with their lives do not affect my life, my opinions are only warranted when asked for and everything is going to be okay.

Is it an easy mantra to remember? No, not really. It’s pretty clunky and awful. Do I always follow it? Oh hell no, have you seen my Facebook? I mean for god sake I’m a judgmental asshole. But that mantra reminds me that those types of opinions are meant to be given in grains instead of boulders.

-Jess