Thirty Years Old and Other Horror Stories

I turned 30 last year.

 

Yeah.

And honestly? Up until the day after I was completely fine with it. I had fully convinced myself that I was excited for 30 and I mean why shouldn’t I be? It’s a birthday! Another year under the sun! I survived! But- I don’t know, it was like when I woke up the next morning everything felt different; for the first time in my life I felt grown up.

It’s not just doing adult things like paying bills and mowing the lawn grown up, that’s a fleeting “I’m a person!” feeling that dissipates quickly and you’re back to feeling like  something between adult and child, but not quite teenager. But this? This was a definitive “I am an adult” feeling that seems to linger behind every thought and every decision I’ve made since I woke up that morning.

I don’t think it would bother me so much if I had just been prepared for it, but nobody warned me. They told me after thirty your life changes but not a single person could explain it; nobody could put in to words the feeling of thirty.

Even I’m having trouble really understanding it and here I am trying to explain it; like the blind leading the blind.

I can see how this could lead to a mid life crisis if you’re not aware of this thirty feeling you’re going to start really longing for the days when you were a kid. So I can see why so many people tend to buy sports cars and jet skis and other ridiculous things because thats what they wanted as a kid. Now they feel like they’ve returned a bit of their childhood to their day to day and I get that.

I can’t predict what I’ll do with this information or if I’ll even be able to fight it.

Maybe I’ll finally go vegetarian and do yoga the future is a mystery!

-Jess