Musing about Home-ownership, Lamenting my Money and Finding Meaning in the Small Shit.

Life has taken a lot of weird turns for me, but the one thing I never lost sight of was owning a home.

When I was little my parents bought me every doll I wanted that they could afford (we didn’t have a lot, but what I got I tended to take care of), by the time I stopped playing with dolls I had a chest of over 100 well dressed and not dressed dolls. Along with the dolls were beds and closets and dressers and cars, Barbie and her pals had everything they ever could need to lead a comfortable middle class lifestyle.

When I got old enough, I started playing around with home design software and after that The Sims. Most of the games I’ve purchased have had some type of RPG element to them, with a home base I could edit.

Highschool crushed every dream I had and that was the truth of it. I was one of those “smart kids” that ended up losing their damn mind once puberty hit and never really got past the personality defects it left me with. I had a clear plan from age 13 to age 16 that when I turned 18 I was going to drop everything, take what I had and move to New York. Well- until I fell in love and that particular person I fell in love with ended up moving in with me and my family and then we got married and well I visited New York? That’s the same right?

Anyway, it was through him that my dream of being a homeowner was brought back to the surface and it was through him that it became possible.

I’ve spoken about before, I’ve never actually worked very hard for anything in my life and because of this I haven’t really succeeded at anything either. My parents would say that I’m a success because I’m not a drug addict or an urchin or what have you and I mean thanks mom and dad, but I was thinking more like College Professor that never has to show up for classes successful.

But buying a house taught me something I’d never really fully understood until that point and that was the power of hard work (Do not get me wrong, I understood it, it was a lesson my parents were sure I learned. Unfortunately I was a egotistical little fuck). I worked my ass off to get the house and although we got fucked in a lotta ways (overpaid, fixer upper, realtor had a stroke a day in to open escrow etc) we succeeded in obtaining what we set out to obtain: a house.

Now let me tell you something, nobody and I mean nobody is prepared for the financial strain owning a home puts on you. I have to remind mi esposo every time something breaks that the number one rule of home-ownership is maintenance. Because things are going to break- that’s just how it is.

There are three things that are certain: death, taxes and something breaking in your home just when you were about to use it.

Sometimes things break and there is no reason for it and that’s when it’s the hardest, because you just have to get a new one with no real reason as to why, other than the other one doesn’t work anymore.

Currently I’m doing a surface remodel on my bathroom, so no tear down, no new walls, no shower removal or remodel, toilet is staying the same etc. And all ready I am at 400.00 dollars. I know you’re thinking “Did you paint it in gold?” If Home Depots prices get any higher than I can safely answer yes to that question. I did put in one higher end LED light and use the most expensive paint available (for the mildew and mold protection) so my prices are gonna be higher but the point still stands, it’s not cheap to own a home.

When you first buy a house some people are whats called “House Poor” basically you own a home but all of your money is going in to that house leaving you very little for everything else. Unfortunately this doesn’t always go away for some people and although they have a roof over they’re head, that roof is bleeding them dry. Homeownership is not for everyone and it’s political to say that the idea of the American Dream, the 2 car garage, white picket fence 2 and a half kids or what have you, just isn’t feasible for a lot of our population.

So I count myself among the lucky ones and again I count my blessings as they were daily. Because I am truly blessed in someway to have been able to go against every lazy entitled bone in my body and manage to fight and win for something I’ve dreamed of for so long.

I look out my bedroom window in to my backyard and I watch the blujays and the turtle doves and the Squirrel that eats all their food and plants walnuts in my lawn knowing I’m just going to mow them down in the spring and I know just how lucky I am to have that view.

-Jess