Not Everyone is Out To Screw You

And unlike a good friend of mine who read that line and said the words “Yeah I know some people who think everyone they meet wants to have sex with them” and yeah good buddy, those people need to rethink things too but that’s more off subject than you know.

I harp about negativity breeding negativity to everyone that will listen; it’s become part of my repertoire of repeated advice. One thing I’ve noticed with individuals who get caught in negativity spirals is that there is this mistrust in people that is sometimes founded in past experiences but is most of the time just compounded with the negativity. Or in my case in the past, a little bit of both.

I know that this isn’t exactly comforting to a lot of people, but to me the idea that: actually, nobody is thinking about you at all, is EXCEPTIONALLY comforting. Nobody is plotting or planning or looking out to make your life harder, your friends and family are not sitting around a table with evil spiral notebooks writing down all the little things that make your day go by slower.

Elementary school created this deep seeded paranoia in me that, THAT is exactly what is happening; proof of the long term effects of bullying I suppose. So if anyone understands how it feels to think that everyone you know and love is out to hurt you or is only pretending to love you it’s me. But it’s not true, rational thought wins through on this one.

It’s when I have to bring these thoughts to someone who isn’t mentally ill or worse yet is and hasn’t come to terms with it, that problems arise. Because when you tell someone that their thoughts are irrational when they believe they don’t have irrational thoughts, they start to lump you in with those people that are just trying to bring them down. Now you’re part of them too.

I’m not telling you to trust every person you meet and personal experiences color the way we live, what I am telling you is that most people are good. Selfish. But good. And that just because you’ve been hurt by life doesn’t mean you shouldn’t help people. There is no rule that says just because you’ve been treated one way you have to treat everyone that way, that’s perpetrating the cycle of abuse and my friends that’s just super not cool.

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I have heard the line “Everybody fucks me why should I help?” and that’s why you should help- that’s why.

-Jess